They were first time visitors to our church. As the pastor, I knew I needed to welcome this couple, as is my practice. I told them that I would stop by and visit them sometime. The husband quickly responded, “Just make sure you call first. The pastor from the church we visited last week knocked on our door unannounced at 9:15 P.M. the other night and I was sitting in my underwear!” I assured him that I would call first.
When I visited them they were very gracious. But I also recognized that the visitation was at their convenience and on their terms. The idea of someone dropping in was foreign to them in their Washington D.C. metro culture. But this attitude is fast becoming the norm in most areas of the country.
Unannounced pastoral visitation is not well received in many communities. In fact, if the pastor stops by a parishioners home, knocks and when they answer says, “I just stopped by to say hi!,” terror would easily be seen in the eyes of many. Many people only see the pastor when something is wrong or when they have done something wrong.
One pastor’s reputation in his congregation was that he didn’t do visitation until the person was ready to die. One day he just dropped by the hospital to see a man who had a minor illness. When the pastor walked in the man’s hospital room unannounced the man grimaced and said, “Oh Pastor, I didn’t know I was this bad!”
Many pastors do little if any personal visitation. Unfortunately, they miss a real blessing. What we really have is pastors who choose to specialize and visitation is not their specialty!
I have always found that visitation is essential to learning about the people in the congregation. It also solidifies my relationship with them as a pastor. It helps me understand how to minister to them. Really, to just preach, consult in the office and attend board meetings is a rather shallow existence for the man we say is “Called by God.” Too many churches and pastors today have confused the meaning of the word “pastor” and “administrator.”
There was a day when pastors roamed among their flock like a good shepherd, stopping by unannounced and sharing his time with them. When the pastor came they took a break and shared a cup of coffee or refreshments. The sheep were never too busy to share a few moments with the shepherd.
Today, we live a life of convenience. Our schedules are based on time, priorities and convenience. This is the case for parishioners and the pastors. When you try to match the people’s schedule with that of the pastor based upon time, priority and convenience the results are obvious. No visitation is done.
What then are we to do, abandon visitation? Actually, most churches have already abandoned pastoral visitation. Therefore, we need do nothing more than continue the trend toward lonely, isolated people in lonely, isolated churches pastored by icons whom, when pressed, just open another program.
So, after all of this you may be asking, “What kind of pastor does visitation?” My answer is simple, “One who loves the people so much that he can’t stay away from them!”
What would happen if we chose pastors based on their capacity to love the people? Maybe we should give it a try!
So the next time your pastor knocks on your door and says, “I just stopped by to say hi!” give him a big hug because you know he loves you!
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